WEDDING PARTY & FAMILY
At a minimum this is composed of the officiant & the couple. OR it may include grandparents, parents, 12 attendants on each side along with 2 ring bears & 3 flower girls, one pulled in a wagon with a puppy. Attendants might be groomsmen, bridesmaids, groomsmaids, bridesmen.
Wedding party–your main job is to walk down the aisle.
Family–you may be asked to either walk down the aisle OR to simply take your seats on the front row.
WALKING DOWN THE AISLE
You don’t have to stick to the old-fashioned lockstep wedding march, but don’t race down the aisle either. You can smile & keep your eyes on your destination or look around for friends & family in a friendly way.
SOLO
If you are walking solo & have a bouquet, hold it at your belly button with both hands. If you are walking solo & don’t have a bouquet, just be natural with your arms—no need to clasp hands as if headed to a funeral.
PARTNERS or PAIRS
First, if you are walking with a partner, especially if you don’t know them, take a minute to introduce yourselves! There’s nothing more uncomfortable than walking down the aisle trying to look natural with a total stranger. Second, when the two of you get to the front, it’s nice to acknowledge each other, with a brief look or smile before you part. If you are walking with a partner & have a bouquet or flower, you still want to hold it at your belly button, you just have one less hand to do so with.
Traditionally, ladies, if escorted by a gentleman, take his LEFT arm. This keeps his right sword arm free for fighting off dragons, brigands, & small dogs. If he’s left-handed, traditionally, he should have been bludgeoned with a small stick until he gave up left-handedness as a unnatural practice. So that’s on oversight on somebody’s part—but you’ll still be on his left & just have to hope no dragons attack.
Gentlemen, offer your arm. Don’t make the lady look for it!
YOU ARE NOT LINKING ARMS: A gentleman offers his arm, & a lady gently takes it so she retains her balance if wearing perilously high heels. Don’t slide your arm all the way through and link up as if playing Red Rover.
That said, in a modern wedding: you might be partnered with someone of the same sex—you can walk arm in arm or simply side-by-side. You’d be surprised at how good walking side-by-side looks when done with confidence.
BEST MAN or WOMAN
You may be holding the rings. You should hand them over when the officiant asks for them. It’s always a good idea to check in with the officiant and ask for your cue.
It’s most helpful to have them untied or out of any container they might be in.
MAID OF HONOR or MAN OF HONOR
You may be asked to hold the bride’s bouquet—some brides hand it off when asked to join hands for vows & others hand it off immediately. Discuss it with her, but in general, let HER hand it to you when she’s ready. Don’t try to wrest it from her when you think it’s time. Also be prepared to either return it to her after the kiss or hand it to the officiant to return. As an officiant, I step out of the way of the kiss (so the couple gets a nice photo), take the bouquet from whomever is holding it, and return it to the bride before announcing the couple.
Want to know more about the different parts of wedding? Check out this helpful handout!
[*]Nope, I didn’t count. Yep, it’s a Douglas Adams reference. No, these are not actual points of etiquette. No, you won’t actually ruin the entire day. Remember, most people don’t know what’s supposed to happen. If something goes wrong, fix it quietly or act like it was supposed to happen that way. Chances are no one will notice. J