A nontraditional primer for the eager and the anxious!
Click for a downloadable copy of this to print out for your wedding party!
*Disclaimer: Weddings vary greatly based on culture, religion, & personal peculiarities of the couple. This is just a stab in the dark with no guarantee to reflect the actual ceremony in which you are now involved.*
In general, there are two main parts: the walky parts & the talky parts.
Walky Parts: Processional & Recessional
Processional: The First Thing!
This is a fancy way of saying the wedding party walks down the aisle & takes their places at the front. Who walks & in what order—along with who stands or sits where is up for discussion. If you’d like more ideas about different options, download this handy handout specifically about how to handle the procession!
There’s usually music.
Recessional: The Last Thing!
This is a fancy way of saying everyone walks back down the aisle & the party gets started! The couple goes first & once down the aisle, any attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen, groomsmaids, bridesmen) pair up & follow. There’s usually music. There’s a 85% chance you’ll have to take a lot of pictures before you get to party.
Talky Parts: Welcome, Talking, Vows, Rings, More Talking, the Kiss!
The ceremony is usually performed by an officiant, who might be a professional officiant, a religious figure, a judge, or a friend who discovered they can get ordained online. Your job? Smile & don’t lock your knees!
Welcome or Opening Remarks: “We are gathered here today. . .”
Welcome, thanks, special acknowledgements. Might include a prayer, communal blessing, reading, or a rousing shout of “So say we all” if the couple in question are Battlestar Galactica fans.
Wedding Address or Reflection on Marriage: Honestly, anything could happen here!
When I officiate, I tell the couple’s story & read something meaningful (chosen by the couple) about love & marriage. But it could also include Bible readings, family members standing & talking, more prayers, cleansing of chakras, or pretty much anything that the couple or officiant thinks is important to set the mood for . . .
The Exchange of Vows: “To have & to hold, for better, for worse”
The couple makes their promises. “Vows” is a fancy word for promises. The couple might answer some questions with “I do!” or read vows they’ve written.
The Exchange of Rings: “With this ring, I thee wed.”
You probably have this one figured out.
Ritual of Unity
This is the couple’s opportunity to get uber-traditional or try something new & funky: candles, wine, boxes, sand, glass, water, fire, sage, tea, rosaries, flowers, ribbons, and, very likely, more talking may be involved.
Closing, Pronouncement, the Kiss, Presentation: “I pronounce you married! You may kiss!”
Wrapping things up! Get ready to applaud! The recessional is next! After you exit, hang tight for photos!