Vows: “I do!” vs. “I choose you to be my partner in life…”

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Vows that Matter Photo by Dustin Finkelstein

There are two primary ways couples choose to say their vows.  #1) The officiant asks the couple a series of questions to which the couple replies, “I do!” or “We do!”  #2) The couple reads their vows to each other.  There are other ways, but today I’ll focus on these two.

Which is right for you?  It depends.  If you love the idea of standing in front of your partner, looking into their eyes, and making them your promises, then you should read your vows!!  If you love the idea of saying “I do!” or if the idea of standing in front of people and speaking makes you too nervous to enjoy your ceremony, you should consider going with questions.  Does it matter?  Not really—the only thing that matters is that you and your partner take the time to choose the vows you want.  Whether you write your own or use the extensive resources I offer, it’s the deliberate selection of the promises that is most important.  Your vows are the foundation of your relationship—your relationship “charter” or “constitution” if you will.  They are important. Selecting the ones that mean something to you as a couple is critical.  The format —questions or statements—that’s more a matter of what makes you most comfortable.

Here’s an example of the same vows in two different formats:

Vow Statement:

I take you to be my partner in life, my friend and companion through the unknown of the future. I will support you, love you, and be faithful to you for the rest of our lives. I promise to share my time and attention and to bring joy strength and imagination to our relationship. I promise to share my time and attention with you and to bring joy, strength, and imagination to our relationship. I promise to strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, filled with laughter, patience, communication, understanding, and love. I promise to work together to foster a relationship of equality, knowing that we will create a life together far better than either of us could imagine alone. I promise to comfort and strengthen you through life’s joys and sorrows, regardless of the obstacles we may face together for as long as we both shall live.

Vow Questions:

Bride/Groom, do you take this man/woman to be your partner in life, your friend and companion through the unknown of the future, support him/her, love him/her, and be faithful to him for the rest of your lives? I do!

And I ask of you both, do you promise to share your time and attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to your relationship? We do!

Do you promise to strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, filled with laughter, patience, communication, understanding, and love? We do!

Do you promise to work together to foster a relationship of equality, knowing that you will create a life together far better than either of you could imagine alone? We do!

Do you promise to comfort and strengthen each other through life’s joys and sorrows, regardless of the obstacles you may face together for as long as you both shall live? We do!

I can always help you personalize & re-format any vows so that they are just what you are looking for!  Contact me & set up a free consultation!